The Balance I Often Feel Like I’ll Never Find as a Work From Home Mom
photo by Rebecca Keller Photography
There’s this thing called “balance” that has almost become a buzzword of late. Balancing work versus play. Personal versus professional life. Balancing family and friends. Balancing hustle and rest. Balancing playing with kids and taking time for ourselves. Balancing parenting and marriage. Balancing motherhood and work. Balance. Balance. Balance.
Balance is something I feel like I’ve always struggled with… it’s just the “what” that I’m balancing seems to change with time. Lately (well, to be honest, for the past couple of years), I have had a big struggle with balancing work and motherhood. I realize this problem is not unique to me and it’s not unique to motherhood… it’s not unique to stay-at-home moms or work from home moms, or even working moms. As moms, we’re constantly pulled in different directions.
But I have definitely felt a bigger struggle as of late.
I shared with you guys my struggle with postpartum depression after having Amos and honestly, having Amos rocked our world. Don’t get me wrong, having Amos has been the BEST and I can’t imagine life without him… but going from one to two kids rocked our world and was a really hard transition for me. Before Amos was born, I had a really solid work routine with Lilly. She was going to preschool in the mornings two days a week and then napping consistently every afternoon. I was able to get everything I needed to get done during the time she was either at school or napping… I felt like I was growing the blog and my Young Living business and I felt like I was even able to pursue other goals.
Amos was born and everything changed. My routine was totally thrown out of whack. I had a baby that didn’t sleep. Lilly was in the throes of the terrible twos / threes (plus she cold turkey quit napping), and I was battling postpartum depression.
I feel this constant pull to focus on blog / podcast/ Young Living stuff and grow those things so I can continue to help support my family. But I also realize that not only do I work from home, but I’m also a stay-at-home mom… and I have kids who need me and who are growing up way too fast. I constantly battle whether or not I should be working or playing another game of dress up. It’s not that I don’t want to play and spend time with my kids (I do), but the reality is, I also have to work.
Yes, Lilly is in school a few mornings a week… but it’s not really enough time for me to get a lot done. (And what about summers??) Plus, I have Amos who is mobile and INTO EVERYTHING NOW. And then, Lilly doesn’t nap anymore so that makes afternoons more challenging. I do have a friend’s sweet daughter who comes a couple days a week in the afternoons to be a “mommy’s helper” and play with Lilly… and that has helped tremendously! But if Amos is having a bad afternoon or Lilly is struggling, it can throw the whole day off.
I’ve really come to know and embrace the importance of just being flexible. I’ve realized that in this current stage that I’m in, a routine (for me), just isn’t realistic right now. And that’s okay. Some days are going to be better than others. This is a season – I’m fully aware of that. I guess I just have to learn to give myself a little grace.
I’m not complaining, so please don’t hear that. I love that I get to do what I get to do for a living… I love my job. I love this community. I also love my kids and I love their sweet hearts, their amazing personalities, their snuggles, their smiles, and I love cherishing every single moment with them.
But it’s not easy. Not one thing about this whole motherhood thing is easy. Let alone balancing working and being a mom.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a work from home mom, a working mom, a single mom, etc… know that you are doing the best you can and that you are doing awesome! You’re setting a life-long example for those kids and you’re AMAZING. Maybe you need a little encouragement today… I know I do.
What about you? If you’re a work from home mom especially, I’d love to hear from you… what works for you? How do you get into some semblance of a routine? Let me know in the comments!!
Also, I am so excited to be joining fellow mama, Kail Lowry, for a Virtual Book Tour in honor of her new book Hustle & Heart! PLUS, if you’re in the Baltimore, Maryland area, you can meet Kail in person at her book signing March 25th at noon at the John Hopkins University Barnes and Noble! Be sure to visit the other blogs to read their posts!
The Garcia Diaries | Lipgloss and Crayons | My Wifestyles | The Do It All Mama | Fresh Mommy Blog | Little Lovelies | Haute and Humid | Twelve and Six | Lauren McBride Blog | Sandy a la Mode | The Vintage Blonde | Oh Happy Play | Still Being Molly | Casual Claire | Nashville Wifestyles | Southern Made Blog | Happily Hughes
I am currently teaching, have 2 kids 2 and under and am starting my first blog. I plan to stay at home next year so I am feeling a lot of pressure to get my blog going so I can contribute to our income, at least a little bit! I’m starting to feel like any free time I have is being used on my blog and there is NO BALANCE! I totally feel ya on this post 100%!!
I can’t even imagine but you go girl!
xx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
There seems to be a theme of similar blog posts on this subject lately and I love that bloggers are being real. Just yesterday Shay Shull (mix and match mama) posted on the same subject. She’s a few years ahead of you with ages of her kids so it may be encouraging.
Thank you so much for encouraging people, and helping to be a part of the solution instead of contributing to the struggle like so many people tend to do (often not intentionally). Thank you for telling people they’re doing their best and that they’re enough. As a mother to two teenagers now, I can say that the balance piece gets easier over time. There are new struggles, but feeling pulled in two different directions eases over time. Hang in there!
Thank you so much for this! The struggle is real, and I’m feeling it more than ever. My youngest is 5 weeks old today, and my older two are almost 7 and 4.5. With such a gap between #2 and #3, I had gotten into a decent routine and enjoyed my freedom (and my me-time, much needed for this introvert). I had started working on things like personal growth (Bible study, exercise) and growing my direct sales business, and even consistently having a somewhat-clean house. 🙂 But suddenly all of those things got put aside thanks to my new [beautiful] little one.
I had started to have more of a label other than “mom”, and am back to being just mom again. It’s been tough. But I’m seeing the value of both, and trying to find pockets of time where I can invest in a little bit of self care and my own hobbies and interests too. I also think that’s helping me stay away from PPD. So thanks for sharing some of your story and struggles!
oh girl i am RIGHT THERE WITH you. thank you for sharing your heart. you are amazing <3
I am sorry you are going through a rough patch Molly. But know that this too shall pass. Our daughter is 16 now and we still have rough patches and wonderful patches. Just keep God at the center and remember that you are enough(:
thank you for the encouragement, susan!
I did need the encouragement today, Molly! So thank you for this post. Finding balance really is a struggle. And kids are demanding little people! Especially when you are trying to work from home. I find they are more demanding than any boss I have ever had during my entire working career! And with my husband being gone now for almost 3 months, the struggle is real! Thank goodness he returns home in 8 days and I can finally get a little break (after we transition to his being home again, of course!). But knowing we are not alone in this mom struggle really does help!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
shelbee you are amazing!! and God bless you handling it all while your husband has been gone. you’re my hero!