“The Financial Battle of a Shopaholic” – Molly’s Money: A Reader Question
A humble request. I am in second place in the Lucky Magazine “Date Night” challenge contest right now and I’d be SO appreciative if you voted for my look! Thank you so much! 🙂 🙂
So, back when I first posted my personal finance story (i.e. my getting out of debt story) I got bombarded with emails, questions, comments, and messages. I was BLOWN away and seriously humbled with the response. I’ve slowly, but surely gone through and answered many, if not all of them, but many of them I have saved for blog posts because I think they’re issues or questions MANY of you have (or if not you, maybe someone you know).
Thus, the READER QUESTION portion of this money series was born. And this is the first installment.
Look, I’m BY NO MEANS an expert on this stuff, but I’ve at least learned enough by now through making a TON of mistakes, that I can hopefully offer some sound advice. I’m a regular person who got out of debt and in financial control on her own. No handouts. No hand holding. Just wits. And some will power. So, here goes.
This first question comes from “C”:
I will be starting my sophomore year of college this fall, and I need a bit help with budgeting, finances, and all that sort. Though, my parents have spent hours talking to me about it, it’s also great to hear from someone else.
Needless to say, I am a shopaholic and in college that can be bad with all other expenses added. I would like to save money, but let’s be realistic there will be little savings. However, I don’t want to spend loads of amounts and rack up debt due to my horrible spending. But I also, figured it’s college and it’s the only time to do all these things…I don’t know how to balance the whole “what is OKAY for money to be spent on” and “what is not.”
What are some good tips to keep my spending limited and any bits of advice you wished people would’ve told you in college? Anything would be great!
Oh man, C, I know this is a tough one. You are like me and MANY of my friends in college. And I will say, that you are not alone – and I know it. Women AND men alike tend to get into financial trouble in college because, truth is, many college students live in the “want” category rather than the “need” category.
For many college women, it’s clothing, purses, and accessories. For men, it’s technology or video games. Regardless, more often than not, their money is spent on wants and not needs.
I know it’s a tough balance. I’ll be real with you!
Speaking woman to woman (who also happens to LOVE fashion) it can be SO hard not to sign up for that credit card in the student union and then hop on over to the mall and max it out at JCrew or Anthropologie. Cause a credit card is like FREE MONEY! Get it now! Pay it later! Right?
Wrong. So very wrong.
It’s hard ESPECIALLY when you see other college girls walking around campus with the latest and greatest bags, shoes, and clothes. It’s called TEMPTATION, and so often, we girls give in.
We cave. We buy it because we want it.
And then we end up $36,000 in debt. Well, that was me. But it’s true. And I know I’m not alone.
And the sad truth is, that kind of spending behavior is just not sustainable. For anyone.
Well, unless you’re actually rich. Then maybe it is. But I’m not talking to the family of Mark Zuckerberg right now.
Let me address a couple of your points specifically:
1. “But I also, figured it’s college and it’s the only time to do all these things…I don’t know how to balance the whole “what is OKAY for money to be spent on” and “what is not.”“
The truth is, it’s all about your budget. It’s okay to spend money on things you CAN AFFORD. At the end of the day, that’s the answer. If you look at your monthly income, then your monthly EXPENSES (see budget post for examples), and then you see that you have another $100 or $200 to spend on WANTS, then go for it.
What you DO NOT want to do is spend money you don’t have. And that’s the hardest part.
And sure, it is college and it’s the time to do fun things, but I promise you, it is NOT the time to rack up debt. I spent the better part of four years post-college paying for the financial mistakes I made IN college. I look at the amount I spent paying off my debt and if I had not gotten INTO debt in the first place, I could have been really enjoying the last four years and actually saving money.
It is my belief that the best is yet to come in my life, and I want to have money to spend on the things I want down the road. I also want the freedom to bless others financially and be a generous giver, while also getting that JCrew sweater I’ve been eyeing.
I want the rest of my life to be the time to do the fun things.
It’s all about balance.
So, set a budget. STICK TO IT NOW. Because trust me, it will pay dividends for you later.
2. “Needless to say, I am a shopaholic and in college that can be bad with all other expenses added.”
You’re right, C. Being a shopaholic is no bueno. I won’t sugar coat it for you. Shopping can be an addiction and a costly addiction at that. Just like other addictions, being a shopaholic can have a negative impact not ONLY on you, but on others as well. On your parents (if they have to help with your debt), on relationships (my money issues hurt a few of my friendships which I had to later rebuild), and on a boyfriend or future spouse.
It’s not a BAD thing to like shopping, clothes, or “stuff” – but when it gets you in financial trouble or it starts hurting your relationships, that’s when change needs to happen. And quick.
I love clothes. I love fashion. I love what they can do for self-esteem and my mood and for how I carry myself. BUT, I will NEVER, ever, ever, ever, ever, let my love for those things negatively impact my life, my finances, or my relationships.
My advice for you now? Get your spending in control, limit yourself on when and how or why you shop, and TRUST ME, it WILL pay off later. I promise.
How do you do this, you ask?
I love the phrase that Dave Ramsey uses: “You have to live like no one else, so you can live like no one else.”
Sure, your friends now might be going out and racking up debt as they buy the latest and greatest things, but they will be paying for it later. Literally. And trust me, it will NOT end well for them. I can guarantee it.
So, you might be the odd one out. You know, saving your money, budgeting your money, and limiting what you can spend at the mall. BUT, in 3, 5, 8, 10 years when you’re out of college and in the workplace and making money – you’ll be the one going shopping and spending within your means because you WON’T be paying off debt. Meanwhile, your friends will be the ones eating rice and beans, beans and rice paying off their mistakes they made in college.
Thus, you will be then living like no one else.
SO, live like no one else now, so you can live like no one else later.
I know it’s hard. Trust me. Find an accountability partner. Tell someone you know and trust about your plan. Get them to check in with you on your spending or help you with your budget. And allow yourself to not feel guilty when you do allot money in your budget for shopping.
BUT REMEMBER, clothing, accessory, and “shopping” money is NOT a necessity. It’s only money that can be budgeted after all your other expenses are taken care of.
I hope this helps.
Okay readers: what questions do YOU have? Do you identify with C? Do you know anyone else who does?
Thanks for reading!
Great advice Molly 🙂
thank you so much, evani!
i really need to be better about remixing and not spending sooo much…
xo,
Sandy
Sandy a la Mode
it’s a constant struggle and can be so tough, but in the end, is so worth it!
Voted!! I love that you spoke openly about your financial situation after college, I read your story and today’s post. You are truly inspiring and I enjoy reading all of your posts!
XO http://shesaidhesaid-fashion.blogspot.com
thank you so much, girl! 🙂 you are such a sweetheart for saying that!
It is SUCH a struggle…and it’s definitely So easy to overspend these days (especially for a blogger, haha). I really enjoy reading this series Molly, you have such great tips/insight 🙂
Annie
The Other Side of Gray
oh amen, annie! amen!! it’s been interesting to see how i’ve been able to test myself and develop an even GREATER self-discipline since i started blogging. and thank you! 🙂
This is awesome advice! My husband and I are actually doing the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University right now and what you’re saying is just lining up with it so well.
I love your comment about how in a few years, after college and all that, you’ll have so much more financial freedom. So true! Because we don’t have debt we can do the things we never did before when I was in school. At least, we did for a year but now we’re making the grown up saving for house decisions. But still!
It’s so empowering to not have to deal with money stresses and realize you’re ahead of most of your peers when it comes to finances. And not empowering in an “I’m better than them” way, but in a, “we’re happy with our life choices” kind of way.
thank you so much, anna!! that’s great you’re doing Dave Ramsey! i wish i’d had heard of him when i was starting out. 🙂 and it’s SO TRUE – the freedom to be “free” later in life is so much better than feeling “free” in college and getting into trouble.
This is tough. I’m kind of going through it right now. It’s hard to find that balance, but even more so, to be strong willed! I love your money posts, you remind me to stay on track!
amen, niki! it’s so hard! but i promise, once you get in the habit and once you really make a commitment to yourself and your money, there’s NO BETTER FEELING! 🙂
This is great advice, Molly! I think a lot of people wind up in financial trouble because they live beyond their means. It can be difficult to think of clothes as something non-essential especially when someone loves to shop! That is something I’m still dealing with myself, but I’d never spend money on clothes if bills still needed to be paid.
-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Jewelry Giveaway!
thank you so much, sharon! 🙂 and it’s so true – often i wonder why i wasn’t able to pick up on that earlier – just living on less than you make. seems like it would be an easy concept – but it was tough for me!
Love the redesign! And sound advice girl! hear hear!
thank you so much, clare! 🙂
Molly, I love these posts! As you know, I am indeed a shopaholic. However, the key is to be a smart shopper. Though I am beyond the years of being a college student and living the college life, I now have to worry about things like paying our mortgage bills and boring things like taxes (yuck). You’re totally right about balance. It’s so important to have balance, in almost every aspect of your life really. Great advice as always! 🙂
xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee
thank you so much, yi-chia! 🙂 and so true – smart shopping is super important… and i feel you… being an adult and having “adult” things to worry about is the worst sometimes!!
I totally agree with this– I have the same issue! I work in an industry where it’s expected that you dress trendy, and preferably high-end. Obviously, that’s way out of my budget range, so I really have to work on buying quality timeless pieces and shopping my closet. It’s tough, but I just tell myself that saving now will help me buy that dream bag someday!
-Alyssa
The Glossy Life
thank you so much for reading, alyssa!! it’s SO hard when you’re pressured to SPEND by your surroundings. that can be the worst.
an accountability partner is a great idea!! great post!
thank you so much! 🙂
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Molly. Figuring out the difference between wants and needs can be hard, especially when you’re a woman who loves shopping! Having my boyfriend around as a positive financial influence helped me a lot. I know it is my responsibility to contribute to and pay the bills on time each month, and I would never put my relationship in jeopardy because of careless spending habits. Anytime I want something, I force myself to mull it over for a few days. Most of the time I realize my want will fade and that I was just acting on impulse (I’m totally an impulsive spender sometimes). By forcing myself to really ask if I need that new dress, shirt, etc I usually realize I don’t need it at all. Great answer to a great question!
Stephanie
thank you so much, stephanie! 🙂 i agree – having john in my life has definitely helped, but i don’t think it would have been as easy if i hadn’t already put habits and discipline into place for myself. you know?
I feel like this was made for me. Last night instead of studying I was thinking about since I have started blogging I have spent small but steadily purchases and at this point in college I cannot be doing this!! I bookmarked this post to read thoroughly after class!
alissa, i’m so glad this post was helpful to you! 🙂 let me know if there is ANYTHING else that i can do to help! 🙂 <3
Another great financial post! I think most people like shopping, but you just have to understand your personal limits and budget for those items. And like you said, there is a big difference in need and want….don’t necessarily need a pair of boots like you need to put gas in your car.
thank you so much, lins!! exactly! it’s all about self control and personal limits!!
I definitely identify with C and also with you, Molly! When I was in college, I got myself into a LOT of debt. Like you said, mall store credit cards are SO tempting. For me, it all started with an American Eagle credit card. Then I got another one … and another one. I always made payments on them, but sometimes it was just the minimum, which was a big no no since I was always charging more than I was paying off every month. In the end, I had racked up $24,000 in debt over about 3 years. I still cringe when I think about it. In 2005, I enrolled in a debt repayment plan and actually paid my debt off 6 months earlier than expected. In fact, and this is amazing to me still, it was 6 months before our daughter was due and the 6 months of payments I would have been making toward my debt equaled the amount we needed to save up for the hospital bill. Crazy, right?!! God is good.
Self control and being realistic is very important in budgeting and managing your finances. I really can’t emphasize that enough. I still struggle with wanting things that I can’t afford (three kids, man. they kind of eat up our budget, haha!), but I’ve gotten to a point where it feels good to have self control. Like, I can wander around Target and see things that I want, but when I walk out of the store with nothing, I give myself a little imaginary pat on the back.
amen, rebecca!! the mall store cards are the worst! and in a lot of ways, i feel like they target younger people and thus they are that much more dangerous.
Such great advice Molly – I LOVE your money posts!
Sea and Swank
thank you so much, susie! 🙂
Molly, I LOVE to shop but my first priority is to make sure the bills are paid and my family has food. We always have a few extra bucks when I am done with the bills and family necessities ie {food, clothing, toiletries,cleaning supplies, pet items}. I know that my family is lucky that we really do not want for nothing. We can generally pay cash for things we want because I budget as best as I can. My hubby and I go over the budget every few months to make sure that we are on the same page. I am the bill payer. I took that over a few months after we got married. We have gotten away from using the credit cards for the most part. We do use one to pay for gas, but I am hoping ot have it paid off by the time he retires from the military in 2015. That is going to mean that I have to buckle down a bit harder on the budget to make that happen.
Anyways, the point of my reply is that with a little enginuity, you can have a kick butt budget and still have a little room for some fun once in a while if you budget wisely. 🙂 Something else I plan to start doing is taking $5.00 a week and just putting it away, not touching it till a certain date to reward the family with something fun.
amen, niki!! amen!! i couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂 it’s totally a great feeling to budget and save and then reward! it makes it much more satisfying!