Dear moms, You’re doing a great job.
The other night I was in my car driving to a concert with two other mom friends of mine. We were just chatting about life as new moms, and one of the moms, whose sweet baby boy is only a month younger than Lilly, and I started talking about life as a WORKING new mom.
You see, all three of us, are work-from-home working moms. And I was telling her that I was SO impressed with her. I could see how much she was working! I could see all that she was doing! And she has a two month old!
I know how hard it is for me to get done all that I need to get done. I told her how much she motivated me. How I saw how hard she was working and that motivated me to step my game up. I admitted that there were times where I would see how much she was doing and I would second guess myself – like, am I doing enough? Am I working hard enough?
She turned to me and said, “What? YOU are motivating me! I can’t believe all that YOU are doing! I always wonder how YOU do it.”
That’s when it hit me. I was running myself ragged some days thinking I’m not doing enough. That I’m not good enough. That I’m slacking as a working mother.
But I realized… I AM doing enough. I’m doing exactly what I can. I’m not a slacker of a working mother. And I HAVE to stop comparing myself to other moms.
We ALL have to stop comparing ourselves to other moms. In EVERYTHING we do…comparison is the number one killer of joy. And we have got to stop letting comparison kill our joy.
So, I wanted to write some letters. A few letters to the moms. All the moms.
Moms, these letters are for you.
Dear full-time mom who works out of the home:
You’re doing a great job. You work 40+ hours a week to help support your family. You’re away from your little one(s) during that time. You have to pay for childcare and that’s expensive. You come home, tired from a long day of work, and you still find time to give baths, read stories, and snuggle with your baby. You still find time to spend with your husband. You still find time to do all that you need to do.
You are making a huge sacrifice for your family. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. I know it’s not always easy. And I know that sometimes you might feel like you’re falling short. But you’re doing a great job and you’re a fantastic mom. Don’t ever forget that.
Love, another mom.
Dear full-time stay-at-home mom:
You’re doing a great job. You never have a day off. You don’t get paid. You don’t get vacation. Or sick days. Or comp time. Or workers comp. You spend hours upon hours feeding, bathing, clothing, and playing with your kiddos. You cook dinner. You clean house. You run errands. You fix boo boos. You find pacis. You do it all.
You are making a huge sacrifice for your family. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. I know it’s not always easy. And I know that sometimes you might feel like you’re falling short. But you’re doing a great job and you’re a fantastic mom. Don’t ever forget that.
Love, another mom.
Dear work-from-home mom:
You’re doing a great job. You (somehow) find time to do your work, get done what you need to get done, AND take care of your kiddo(s). You balance it all. Sales calls, conference calls, nap times, play times, video conferences, diaper changes, making dinner, cleaning, and emails. You do it all.
You are making a huge sacrifice for your family. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. I know it’s not always easy. And I know that sometimes you might feel like you’re falling short. But you’re doing a great job and you’re a fantastic mom. Don’t ever forget that.
Love, another (work-from-home) mom.
Dear cloth-diapering mom:
You’re doing a great job. You’re saving money! You’re saving the earth! You’re doing it all! …all the laundry, that is. That’s a lot of laundry you’re doing. But you’re doing a great thing.
You are making a huge sacrifice for your family. You’re doing a great job and you’re a fantastic mom. Don’t ever forget that.
Love, another (cloth diapering) mom.
Dear mom using disposable diapers:
You’re doing a great job. Disposable diapers aren’t cheap! You’re doing it all!
You are making a huge sacrifice for your family. I don’t know how you do it, but you do.You’re doing a great job and you’re a fantastic mom. Don’t ever forget that.
Love, another mom.
Dear breastfeeding mom, formula feeding mom, mom who delayed solids, mom who introduced solids early, mom who buys canned baby food, mom who makes her own baby food:
You’re doing a great job. You’re feeding your child and making sure he/she is growing and is healthy! You’re doing all you can to make sure your sweet little one never has to go to bed hungry.
You are making a huge sacrifice for your family. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. I know it’s not always easy. And I know that sometimes you might feel like you’re falling short. But you’re doing a great job and you’re a fantastic mom. Don’t ever forget that.
Love, another mom.
To the mom who co-sleeps, who has had their baby in his/her crib since night one, to the mom who baby wears, to the mom who doesn’t, to the mom who exercises with her baby, to the mom who can’t find the time or doesn’t have the energy, to the mom who lets their baby watch TV, to the mom who says no TV in the home, to the homeschooling mom, to the public schooling mom, to the private schooling mom, to all the moms who do whatever they need to do or they feel is best for their sweet little ones:
You’re doing a great job. You are making huge sacrifices for your family day in and day out. You’re making decisions that you know are best for you and your family.
I don’t know how you do it, but you do. I know it’s not always easy. And I know that sometimes you might feel like you’re falling short. I know sometimes you feel like you can’t do it all. I know sometimes you’re worn out and exhausted.
But you’re doing a great job and you’re a fantastic mom. Don’t ever forget that.
Love, another mom.
first four images by Kelly Martin Photography.
This is a great post!! I have a two month old and it has been hard to find the time to get it all done but I just have to sit back and relax and spend time with my baby! I have to go back to work full time on the 2nd and I’m not looking forward to it. But the post really makes me feel better.
You have the biggest heart Miss Molly! Seriously, your love for the world blows me away.
xx
Here&Now
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thank you for this molly. i find myself stressing out a lot lately (blaming it on a few rough weeks of terrible sleep) about if i’m doing things right and wondering what i should be different. needed to read this today!
Awww. I’m not a mother but this was soo sweet! I’m sure so many mommies will be so uplifted from this post! And I love all the pictures of you and your baby! Looove the 3rd one!
Thank you for these words. Often, I find myself lost in the whirlwind of work and motherhood, forgetting to switch the laundry over, sometimes having ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner, doing dishes at midnight… But every moment is worth it and I need to remember that I’m doing a good job! You are, too!
Great post. Thank you, you’re doing a great job. By the way, you look like a model in that last pic, just sayin’
AMEN. Love this. I’m going to revisit it in 3 months.
Love this. All of it.
This is an awesome post. You are awesome. I know I’ll want to read this again once baby girl is born. Thank you for this Molly!
xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee
I don’t even have children and this brought tears to my eyes. Well said.
i REALLY needed this today and i can’t stop crying…..mom’s really don’t get enough credit, thank you for this molly
great post. i have this strange notion that we mothers should be building each other up and encouraging no mater what type of diaper or food or work you do. parenting is hard and awesome and lovely and gross. lets do it together without all the judging 🙂
Thank you for this today! It’s so easy to second guess yourself and feel like your never doing enough. Is my baby eating enough, getting enough tummy time, sleeping long enough, developing like he/she should? We need to give ourselves grace and trust that we are doing the best for our baby and family.
Thank you for the kind words today <3
Lindsay
Molly I can’t tell you how much I needed this post today.
Thank you so much.
Your’re an awesome mom!
xoxo
Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I just read an article from a (very hard-working) SAHM bashing working parents because her stressors were bigger, greater, etc. I KNOW how hard SAHMs work. I know how hard working moms work. I will not compare. I will continue to support ALL moms/dads/guardians in the decisions they make for their children. Because being a parent is really hard. And really wonderful. You hit the nail on the head, Molly. Thank you for advocating for every type of mom!
OK, this brought tears to my eyes. This was beautiful. Thank you so much for contributing to the conversation in a positive way. Just this morning in the shower I was despairing about how hateful people can be to each other when they have different opinions about the right way to do things; when the reality is, there is no ONE right way. There are pros and cons to everything and we all have to weigh those and make the best decision for ourselves and our families. Your support and encouragement of everyone just trying to do their very best has kind of restored my faith in humanity this morning. Thank you, Molly! Your daughter is very luck to have you as her mother.
Best post of my whole month. Thankyou Molly
ps. YOU are doing an amazing job. Love, another work-from-home mom 🙂
Right on Molly! the one thing that made me doubt myself was all the judgmental, unsolicited advice when I had my first son. Thank you for shining a light on all the positive things that come from moms, regardless of the parenting style they choose. I almost killed myself trying to keep up with other people’s concept of the “Ideal Mom”. You’re so smart 🙂
Thank you so, so much for this post! I’m 13 days in to this new role as a mom, and this was exactly what I needed to start my day. You’re doing a great job, too, Mama!
Well, dang it. Now I’m crying. That was really sweet, Molly. And I feel exactly the same way. We’re all doing a great job!!
love this so much… so many people people pass judgement on how mothers raise their babies. but as long as that baby is happy healthy, who cares, you are doing a great job. I am a stay home mom, and I won’t compare my life to other moms because it is equally hard. I used to work as well. thanks for this though, its beautiful. very reassuring.
thanks, molly. this exact topic has been on my heart (and blog) the past week especially. definitely a reminder we all need sometimes. 🙂
love these! Such a great reminder to stop comparing. 🙂
xox
giedre
Oh Molly, this is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. I’m in tears…Thank you!