Time with My First Born
Mommy & Me LulaRoe Dresses (Nicole Dress & DotDot Smile Dress) | Earrings: Nickel and Suede | Shoes: The Root Collective (Use this link for 10% off) | Lilly’s Shoes: CROCS c/o | Bracelets: R&E Avenue c/o | Necklace & Rings: Heidi J. Hale Designs c/o (Use code “stillbeingmolly25” for 25% off)
The transition from one to two kids has not been without it’s challenges. Some say that going from zero to one kid is the hardest, but for me, it’s totally been one to two kids. It’s tough. I feel torn in 13198201989 directions. I struggle with feelings of not being able to “do it all.” I question my decisions daily and wonder if whatever I am doing is what is best for Lilly and Amos.
It is tough. So SO tough. 
(SIDE NOTE: haha I promise Lilly’s foot is not broken! I don’t know WHAT she is doing there!)
And while I know I can’t actually do it all and while I know that I’m supposed to be right where I am, I am doing the best I can to rest in that and just continue loving my kids the way I know how.
The hardest part for me has been the shift in my relationship with Lilly. And to be honest, I have sat here with the cursor blinking on this post for quite some time because I really don’t know what to say about it or how to put everything into words. 
Before Amos, Lilly was my girl. My one-and-only. My tiny best friend. My sidekick. We did everything together… just us. We have such a special mommy/daughter relationship… and the reality of the situation is… it’s different now.
It’s not the same.
DO NOT get me wrong… I would not change our life or anything and I am so thankful we have Amos in our lives, but I am realizing how important it is to be intentional with my time with Lilly. I have to really be purposeful in my time with her.
I want her to know how beautiful and special she is to me. I don’t ever want her to think that just because Amos is here (or even any other future children) that I love her any less. My love for her and Amos has only expanded (I totally get what everyone said now!) and my love for her only grows with time.
But, there’s no escaping the fact that it’s just different now.
I’m also trying to cherish and treasure these moments and memories with Lilly. She has grown up so much in the last few months since Amos was born. She constantly blows me away with how verbal and communicative and smart she is. The things she remembers, the things she knows, the things she says… I love it all. She’s just this little person now and I love it.
But, in so many ways, she’s still just my sweet baby. When she wants to snuggle (which is rare), or when she wants to lay in my arms and have me read her a story, or when she wants to sing together… those moments are so special. 
But sometimes… this is reality. It comes with the territory, right? 🙂 
I know that I’m still not in a place where I can really, fully explain what I’m feeling and what she means to me. I know that time will also continue to pass and life will go on and things will continue to change… but what will never change is my love for Lilly and my love for my kids.
I completely know what you’re talking about! I have a 4-year-old daughter and a 3-month-old daughter. You love them both so much and want them to know that one isn’t more important than the other–that they’re both special and more precious to you than anything in the world! However, because they’re two completely different people and two very different ages (and stages), with different needs, it seems difficult to achieve at times and balance it all. Time literally needs to be carved out for the older child at this point because the baby is so dependent. I feel torn a lot of the time. I remind myself that it’s quality, not quantity that matters, so I make sure that I spend 5-10 minutes here and there playing or snuggling with my older daughter. Sometimes (a lot of the time, actually) I worry that because they’re the same gender, my older daughter feels like she’s being replaced…luckily that hasn’t been an issue. She loves her little sister. She talks to her, spends time with her and talks about all the things they’re going to do together when her sister’s able. Isn’t it funny how we sometimes worry about things more than we need to?
This is so sweet to see into your relationship with Lilly!! It’s nice to hear to make special girl time with her to know she is special!
xo, Lee
http://www.wineandcouture.com
I love this so much. She has got such a precious little grin! We’ve only got one little at home now and I think often about how special this time is. I’m an oldest and don’t really remember a time without my younger siblings – but now I know my mom does. I often think of how special this time is.
Your mommy and me dresses are so precious!