Renewed
OUTFIT DETAILS | Kimono: Symbology Clothing – Spring CAUSEBOX exclusive (use coupon code “MOLLY” for $15 off) | Cami: Grace & Lace Fara Combo Cami via The Flourish Market (use coupon code “stillbeingmolly” for free shipping) | Jeans: ABLE c/o | Shoes: ABLE c/o | Bag: ABLE c/o | Earrings: Nickel and Suede | Long necklace: Sela Designs (use code “STILLMOLLY10” for 10% off) | Bar necklace: ABLE c/o
A couple weekends ago, John and I got the chance to get away by ourselves for a couple of days. We headed to our favorite beach – Oak Island – on the coast of North Carolina. It was our first time away and, really, it was our first time alone without kids since we lost Elijah. To say the three days away was renewing is an understatement.
We slept in. We ate. We binge watched basketball and caught up on our favorite shows. We went walking on the beach without any plans or time constraints. We explored. We slept some more. We talked. We just enjoyed each other and we reconnected in a way we so desperately needed.
Losing a pregnancy is hard and it’s really hard on a marriage… but God. God is so gracious and He has only brought us closer. The enemy tries to tear us apart in times like these, but when we have felt lost and when we have felt alone and when I have cried for hours… John and I have clung to God and clung to each other.
I don’t know what other lessons this whole season will teach me / us down the road… but in this moment, I’m grateful that this tough season is bringing us closer to Jesus and closer to each other.
People keep asking me, “How are you doing? How are you getting through this?”
And my honest answer is, “Jesus.”
I. do. not. know. how I would get through this without Jesus and my husband, John. I don’t even want to think about it, honestly.
And so yes, I have a smile on my face again. I feel joy. I also feel deep sadness and sorrow… but I am lighter.
In fact, my counselor said to me last week after we got back from the beach, “You seem lighter to me.”
And I am. And I am so grateful.
I do not know what tomorrow holds, but for today, I am renewed.